BuTTeR CuP...

there have been several points in my 27 years that i think im SuPeRwOmAn!  aaaaand (almost) every time reality slaps me on the ass and i realize - im just "regular ViLLiAn status."  for example, i once rode down two flights of steps in a plastic sled (with no snow) bc i thought it would be fun.  the only "fun" thing was sitting on a pillow for six weeks.  i also thought i had super monkey powers and could jump from tree to tree and do flips, the only thing i jumped into was a sling for six weeks with a badly fractured elbow.  or better yet...while riding in the car one day i climbed from the front seat, out the window, to the back seat.  clearly that was successful.  maybe i do have monkey-like powers?  aaaaaand cant forget rolling down the driveway in a trash can with the lid...ON (not my brightest moment) or playing chicken with the garage door as it went up and down.  what about the time we played dodgeball with roman candles? ouchie.  ahhhhh...jet skiis.  wow.  they are fast.  went so fast on the lake one summer, i threw myself off so hard, that my life jacket came off.  i was about 3 feet from hitting a rock.

oh...im not done yet.  well.  writers block.  and watching dexter.  maybe i should say "focus'ers block?"

my most recent episode, 7 days ago, virginia beach.  now boogie boarding, safe, right?  EH?  well.....not with me.  i cant just boogie board like a normal person.  despite the UBER rough waves (weird for VA beach), i decided to exhibit my super human powers.  i caught a BIG wave and road it like a rockstar...until...i decided to stand up and ride.  EPIC FAIL.  the front of the board went under, i flipped over and the end of the board nailed my ribs.  CRAP! that hurt like a mother.  i layed on the beach for maybe 30 seconds-couldnt breathe.  weirdest feeling ever.  pain, but not painful.  disoriented.  confused.  did i injure my BIG noggin'?  naw...dont think so.  long story short.  broken ribs/cracked ribs...whatever it is = NOT COOL!  EHT (estimated healing time...) = too long.

maybe im not physically like superwoman?  i may lean more toward the "powerpuff girl-type hero" short in height. firey. and ready to kick someone's ass.  and yeah, she has green eyes and black hair like me. BOOM!

SO while briefly recapping on my physical stupidity above...id like to go ahead and say that mentally...i am a super hero.  this is where i exhibit my best abilities.  im a strong person.  its weird bc im not, but i am.  i can take on a lot of emotions and stresses that most people cant or wont (with occasional backlash).  maybe one day...ill share my mental super human powers.  until then...you can read and laugh at my EPIC FAILURES.  because lets be real...its funny!

New Addition!

aaaaaaand NO...I am NOT pregnant!

After months and months of contemplating, I have finally picked the winner.

AAAAAAAND the winner is:

BOOM!  My next tattoo (except the purple will be pink-cuz purple is the devil color)

3 things i love-mushed into one!

Come July (hopefully)...this will be my new addition.  What do you think????  GOOD...BAD...UGLY...SWEET...WEIRD???

Let me know....but let's not post anything to facebook...just sayn...

25 Randoms...

25.  i like to sleep in hoodies and sweatpants
24.  i HATE caterpillars and spider crickets
23.  my idea of cooking is making a sandwich
22.  i could draw and/or paint til my arms fall off
21.  im kinda obsessed about my weight/appearance, cant ya tell?
20.  i think people are weird
19.  guns are awesome
18.  running is like therapy for my brain
17.  if i could have one super power...id fly or read people's minds
16.  sometimes i think i am unstoppable
15.  love sharks
14.  my cell phone is never out of sight
13.  i want to meet ELLEN
12.  i like to sleep with "lamby" my giant sheep, but he takes up too much room
11.  i hate reading...tho i teach
10.  i used to play the harmonica
9.  i love soft chocolate chip cookies and could eat them all day
8.  i either avoid cleaning...or i completely obsess over it and spend hours on it
7.  fruit and veggies...LOVE
6.  i will own a crotch rocket (black, white, or lime green)
5.  next tat...coming soon
4.  i cant ever sit still cuz i feel like there is always something to do
3.  id rather text than talk on the phone
2.  love sleeping
1.  i secretly sometimes like dressing up.  shhh...

A dAy FrOm StArT tO FiNiSh...

GoOd MoRnInG...

GoOd NiGhT!!!!!!

Seriously...

i mean really...this going to bed at 2:00 and getting up at 4:40...

AINT WORKIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET ME RE-PHRASE...My NeW sWaG

ok...so like...i hate shopping.

well....let me re-phrase.  for those who dont know me...im not your average person.  i will not be in the fancy dress section at whatever place you buy those things and you wont spot me buying high dollar pumps.  i dont even think that youll find me in the girls department on most occasions.  once, my mom put me in a dress when i was like 6 and i "accidentally" spilled juice on it.  can you freakn believe that?!?!?! 

BOOM!  i got to wear shorts instead.  thats kinda how i roll.

three stores youll most likely find me at:
1.  DICKS...i love dicks. (hmmm...thats weird.)
2.  TARGET
3.  Barnes and Noble

1.  love love love this place.  speaking of my love for dicks (winkface). today i bought the sweetest gear.  this is why i when payday/gift cards/reward cards all come at the same time.  CHECK OUT MY NEW SWAG!!!!! 

most awesome shoes and laces

compliments of sarah ; )

sweetest shorts ever!!!!

 2.  i love boys...t-shirts that is (DUH).  they are way cooler than anything in the girls section on any day.  girls clothes always have some like flower or sequin sh*t on them anyways.  or they come in pastel colors or Vneck.  BOOF!  besides right next to the boys section is the toy section.  next to the toy section is the athletic section.  BAM. pure AWESOMENESS.  you know whats next to the girls section anyways....take a guess...ill wait....(as i hum to myself...)

yeah...i know....PURSES.  GEH!  

3.  now i hate reading, but i love this store bc they have a book for everything.  i hate reading, but i love all the sweet puzzles and art things and hands on things they have.  this store is awesome!  did i mention that i hate reading?  however, i do like their magazines bc they are they have every magazine from sports illustrated (swimsuit edition...thank you) to art magazines to running magazines....DUH!

retail therapy is stellar.  i highly recommend it.

ItS cOmInG tOgEtHeR

ok.  things are beginning to come together and make SOME sense.

first, i must say, i hate doctors.  ok..i dont hate them, but lets be real.  id rather be thrown into a tank of piranhas, than step foot into a doctors office.  its like this...why pay all this money to someone you dont know to tell you things you dont want to here?  think about it?

i am all "doctored" out for the rest of the year.  i keep rushing my days along to get these things all over with bc its taking up unnecessary space in my brain.

i need my foot fixed...like yesterday.  i want to know why my ankle continues to hurt.  i want to know why it swells when i do NOTHING.  i want to know why its sore to walk, especially whenever i have to change directions.  i want to know if this is going to affect my training.  i doubt tho...cuz my pain threshold seems to far out-do that of most normal people (insert evil sneaky mean face here).

the other doctor, yeah, im tired of her too.  you know that little white mouse that repeatedly runs around in those mazes looking for the cheese...thats how i feel with her.  i think its a test.  my brain is always on "hyperfocus" mode when i go there.  or i feel like it is, despite whatever she says.  im trying extra hard to do something that isnt normally easy for me.  funny tho...cuz the other day...HA...i threw her for a loop.  

amy-1
weird lady-0

my point of these thoughts (tho way off topic) is this...
***after avoiding the piranha tank and accomplishing these silly "fears" of mine...(well let me clarify, they are NOT fears.  im not afraid...i can just think of better/less invasive ways to spend my afternoons).  ...i talked to a wonderfully awesome friend of my (whom you all know quite well) and she said 5 little tiny words that made a HUGE difference to me.  "I AM PROUD OF YOU."


i dont know why (well maybe i do) but i took these words and held them. i thought about them and processed them.  really?  did someone really say that to me?  i wasnt sure how to respond. i was caught waaaaaay off guard.  i wanted time to think and absorb, but i didnt have time.  i wanted to say something meaningful and appropriate, all i could manage was a plain and simple "thank you."  SHEESH...really amy?!?!

ToGeThEr....or NoT tOgEtHeR...?

heres a riddle:

...or maybe its a story with lots of details, but without the main idea...?

you know when like...well.  ok.  so.  something is playing tricks on me.  it wont make up its mind.  its frustrating bc it could determine alot for me in the next several days.  i could be headed for some drastic changes.  i hope so.  but then...for the other circumstance...i hope NOT.  i do not adapt to change well.  so when the curve balls start coming, ill take a deep breath, close my eyes, and swing.  BAM! lets hope for a HOME RUN in both circumstances.

...im UBER impatient and really want to know ALL of my outcomes...LIKE NOW!

Im ReAdY tO jInX mYSeLf...

im afraid and sorry to admit...but i cant help myself.  i deserve to celebrate, right?

this week is awesome so far-so let me break it down.  its awesome for me-and at this point, thats all i care about.  selfish?  yeah, maybe?

i total 7 kids in my class on daily basis.  oh, piece of cake...one might think?  NO.  see your wrong already.

background:  special education. emotionally disturbed children. conduct disordered children. ADD/ADHD.  anger management issues.  sleep disorders. bi-polar disorders.  depression.  oppositional defiance.  runners (and by runners, i dont mean racer-runners.  i mean let me run around campus so that my teacher will chase me-runners). post-traumatic stress disorders...you name it, we got it.  it makes for a very interesting mix of demons...eh- i mean children.  well, my 7 kids this week have miraculously dwindled to 4.  thats right-4. aaaaand no, no children were harmed in the making of this SUPER AWESOME week.

im not proud of why i am at only 4.  but i must say...ITS BEEN GREAT!  ive had one suspended, one hospitalized, and one that cant make it out of time-out.  its sad actually.  but when you have CHAOS all year long, youll gladly accept any break you can get.  it feels good, for once, to not: restrain, get beat up, and cussed out by 10 year olds.

so all in all.  that is why i have had two great days.  i know at some point, my glory will fade.  my dreams with disappear.  and ill be slapped, yet again, in the face by my awesome friend...REALITY!   but until then, i must say, i will enjoy my break.

BRING IT DAY 3!

PS...my alien is lost (for those who have read one of my previous blogs (frowny face)

Da' Battle...

Ok. you know when you have those fights with yourself that you N.E.V.E.R win?  ok.  good.  i thought you did.  then, go ahead my friend, read on...

fighting with yourself is exhausting! yeah, it sounds ridiculous, im well aware if that.  now this is an ongoing process, but i will explain a typical day in the brian (see) BRAIN of amy.

this morning i snoozed/turned my alarm off 6 times.  then while showering i nearly (and by nearly i mean pretty much did) put soap in my hair instead of shampoo.  upon exiting the shower...i had no towel.  im afraid to say, but i managed to get it together...until....

on my way to work i attempted to turn left at a red light.  ooops. yeah, yeah...my fault, but WhAtEvEr!  at work, i parked in the wrong spot.  my spot is 78.  i took over spot 79, which belongs to mrs. evans.  didnt even realize it, until my phone rings to tell me to MOVE!  i get out to my car....and yep...forgot my keys.  so back to the classroom i go.

while in my meeting...waiting for my turn to speak, i realize i forgot my report.  of course!  EMBARRASSING=YES just a lil.

after lunch, i printed my kids science work, got distracted by something else, then when it came time to work, i couldnt find it.  i searched that whole STUPID FREAKN room for that stupid freakn "plant" story.  UNBELIEVABLE!  but whats more unbelievable...is where i found it.  YEP, still in the printer.

its only gets better...

i went to the office to make copies of my kids point sheets and upon stepping foot in the office, realized i didnt even bring them with me.  AHHHHHHH!  super frustrating.  then upon FiNaLlY making copies, and all the commotion of the day, i didnt even distribute them to my kids.  when i decided i had had enough "torture" today, i left work.

but not before....yep, you guessed it, LEAVING MY CAR KEYS IN THE CLASSROOM!!!!!!!!!!

SHEESH.  and at this point, though its not like me to do this, but...im sure i have "forgotten" to mention all the CrAzY things that happened today.

just sayn-anyone wanna trade my heads?  brains? anyone?

ToDaY...and the rest of the week

need i say that im super glad today was my friday.  its getting there.  i lost count...maybe 30 days left.  this morning i was 12 minutes late to work.  even tho i am an ADULT (dee) im never on time.  its in my blood to be late.  im good at it.  i have consistantly mastered the art of tardiness.

well i got what i deserved today bc upon arrival, i was on the go!  KARMA. and damn you karma bc you get me EVERY single freakn time...i had to chase my student (who was avoiding punishment for kicking the bus aide) to mountain road...IN THE RAIN.  yes...IN THE RAIN.  then upon catching him...we struggled.  i REFUSED to take him to the ground amongst the puddles and mud, so i suffered the trauma and butt whooping again from a nine year old...AGAIN.

so when is enough-enough?  never at VREC.  not til june, july, and august.  anyone who complains that teachers have all this time off and that we shouldnt complain, clearly dont get it.  well....i guess, my school is all but normal, but still.

NOW-the grand finale...and a more positive note...

"its my friday aaaaaand ill cry if i want too..." (sound familiar?)  naaaaw.  i aint cryn cuz im goin to the DERBY tomorrow.  a fun filled weekend of horse racing, drinking, partying, and bourbon trail  hoppin'.  i will not think about school for an entire 4 days. (i wont even call to check in on my kids like i normally do when i take off).  why?  u ask.  cuz this week...I DONT CARE and i dont mean that in an evil way, i mean that in the sense that if i want to keep my sanity i will block it all out.  this weekend is for me.  its a reboost to get thru the next 6 weeks.  i cant wait to socialize, see old friends (actually...i dont really have any), tailgate, stalk out celebrities, and laugh at protesters who try to preach...well...religion-to put it nicely.  maaaaaan.  i forgot bout those nut-jobs.  i could fight with them all day.  SUPER STOKED-well...in an usual kind of way.

PS...the alien (with no name) will be gettn pictures out soon.  woot woot!

If My BrAiN threw-up...

it may look something like this:

 im ready for a vacay.  home is not exactly where i want to go.  the derby is coming this weekend.  mixed feelings.  i wanna play with fireworks.  actually i want to go to the river,  not teaching summer school.  celebrity dresses are super ugly.  my phone needs to charge.  im thirsty and want a capri sun.  we only have berry left...not a fan.  dr.s appointment tomorrow-arg arg and double arg.  made a list to pack, but feel like its not adequate.  lists and post-its are my life.  need to finish next weeks lesson plans.  im cold-its freezing in here.  super super tired.  want to go to belle isle.  my brakes on my car are bad sounding.  everytime i lay down to nap...i think of 50 things to do and have to jump up and do them.  i need to sweep.  trash can needs to come up.  need to take off my bike rack.  my foot hurts.  i need some water.  i have to complete a re-evaluation by friday-aaaaaand i wont be at work thursday or friday.  HMMM.  let me just say:  poor planning on "yalls" part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.  thanks guys.  jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj   ooops.  i was watching TV and had my finger on the J key.  didnt even know it.

 focus focus focus-i will make a smoothie tomorrow after my swim.  swimming is hard. speaking of swimming...the man next to me today made me feel like i was swimming in a tsunami.

dont you hate it when your brain and your body dont function together.  sux.  my brain is like falling asleep and my hands keep typing.  i wish i had a reese egg.  i freakn love those!!!

i need to stand up like now.  gotta go!

amy


not sure y i just signed my own blog...i think i thought it was an email.  oh well....

meet....well, he doesnt have a name?

Pro Shot

i decided that i am going to take my little friend with me everywhere...work, running, swimming, biking, around the house, in the car...u name it and he'll be there.  but dont worry...ill keep you up to date on his journey...

 his profile shot

secretly loves running, but would never tell anyone that

sippin' on some J

PoLe DaNcInG...

in my inbox??????

id like to say that i am currently (as in the entire life of my blog) unable to figure out how to post on someone's blog.  so i do read them...just for the record.

EmOtIoNaL dEtOx

let me make it known that just cuz i teach...dont mean i use proper english or grammar.  just sayn...
  
 NOW, is it possible...?

can you really have a mental/emotional detox.  i feel like you can "detox" anything?  drugs...alcohol...ur body...etc.

without making this post gloomy...im gonna try to say what i want in a more positive manner.  i have learned to try to find something positive in every situation, regardless of the event.  its difficult.  i will wear my feelings right on my sleeve, however, when ready...i can mask them like a champ!   

this week was spring break, i have had lots of time to think.  lots of time to reevaluate the way i want to do things in life.  i discovered that despite my own beliefs...i am not always right and what i think is acceptable to some people, may not be for others.

i know that spending time with people you love-is important.  no matter how many times i try to deny it.  even when you are really upset/frustrated, it STILL helps.  i dont even have to speak-its just the presence of others that can make you feel better.  i enjoy listening (when i focus long enough to do so).   

so back to "DETOX."  i discovered, especially today...that taking a step back-regrouping myself-and continuing to do what i enjoy is the best detox.  waking up early, meeting my super, awesome, amazing friends to exercise, and making the most (that i can) of each day is what makes me happiest.  

every now and then ya gotta do "WhAtEvEr MaKeS yOu HaPpY!"...and this is a totally an "unselfish" thing to do.  

just sayn...

 

10 ThInGs that I lOvE...

10.  THUNDERSTORMS.  LOVE lightning, thunder, and massive amounts of rain.  i also find tornadoes, tsunami's, hurricanes, and floods SUPER interesting.  its the thrill.  but the best part is laying in bed, in the dark, and listening to the rain and thunder, and watching the room light up.  AWESOME!

9.  SLEEP.  need i say more... 

8.  JILLIAN MICHAELS.  my secret crush.  well, not secret anymore.  HOT! i'd...well...nevermind.  

7.  KIDS.  secretly, i love my students.  despite the chaos they cause me somethings, i value each and everyone of them and their differences.  they keep me on my toes, as i try to stay two steps ahead of them.  and its TOUGH!

6.  SNOOZE BUTTON.  world's greatest invention.  i use it multiple times every morning and it bothers some people.  sometimes i set my alarm ahead early, just so i can use it.  and while i am typing this...a nat is flying on my screen.  distraction.

5.  TATTOOS.  great form of expression.  tattoos can tell you alot about people.  its a unique form of art.  i think tats are hot, PS.  winkface.  i am currently planning 2.  youll have to wait and see...

4.  BONFIRES.  pyro at heart.  i think fires are interesting.  they are very calming/relaxing to me, as are thunderstorms.  really, i like all kinds of fire. candles, fire pits, bonfires, matches, fireworks,...oooooo fireworks. 

3.  FUR KIDS.  i have two wonderful dogs.  even tho-they bad as shit sometimes.  i fall for that puppy look everytime.  dang.  i can be a softy...sometimes.

2.  HCB. and all my awesome and amazing friends!  and i special shout out to DEE and ROB!  love.

1.  SLR.  LOVE. you know...winkface.

SwImMiNg...

so yeah...i remember the first time i took swim lessons and they made me go off the diving board...but i refused.  i wouldnt go off, nor would i go back down.  i sat on the board with a death grip and cried until the life guard pried me off.  i think i was 6.

so im not quite the swimmer, stating the obvious.  i also recall the 5,000 times my brother wanted to secretly drown me, or the time i got stuck under rafts at the water park, or the time i got caught in a rip tide, or the time my life jacket came off when i was thrown from the jet ski, or the time i stopped breathing and turned blue, so....basically what im saying is:

AMY + WATER = NO BUENO

however, i enjoyed my nice, slow, RA-TARD swim tonight.  i dont know how to swim and im totally ok with that.  but see the problem is this.  competition.  the guy next to me was really good and i think we were secretly racing...well...i was racing...or maybe it was more like tag, but i was IT-the whole time.

dee, kinda like when i said, "so...i dont really like running next to the same person the whole time...?"  it was one of those moments.

going on the record #1:  men should not wear speedos. period. the end.
going on the record #2:  do not walk around the locker room with ZILCH-O clothes on...please.  thanks.
going on the record #3:   IM AWESOME!

THR33 AcTs of Kindness...

today, i may have witnessed 3 acts of kindness...or did i?

1.  ....the driver in front of me politely waved a car on, then proceed to cuss him out and flip him the bird for makin him miss the light.

2.  ...a student kindly asked his teacher to "PLEASE...shut the "F" up.

3.  ...at recess, a student shoved another into a metal beam...followed by the words "im sorry...that your a little B and that i had to shove you into the post"

KINDNESS: the quality of being warmhearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic

on a serious note, my job does NOT offer many opportunities to be kind.  i secretly (bc its not cool to admit it), try each and every day to perform three acts of kindness at work.  its something im working on.  whether its being kind to my students, someone else's students, or other staff...i try to do THREE nice things each day.  i want to make the place i work at-a pleasant and calming environment.  i am well aware that this task is WAAAAAY to large for one person, especially at my school, but i figured it has to start somewhere.  

sometimes (ok-alot of the time), it sucks waking up every morning, knowing that my day will probably be rough---and in more ways than one.  but, i have three goals each and everyday that i try to meet.  one: be a positive role model for my seven wonderful students. two: provided them a fair opportunity to learn-something that other schools did not offer them.  three: develop their social skills so that they can, some day-i hope, be a productive and successful member in society.