BuTTeR CuP...

there have been several points in my 27 years that i think im SuPeRwOmAn!  aaaaand (almost) every time reality slaps me on the ass and i realize - im just "regular ViLLiAn status."  for example, i once rode down two flights of steps in a plastic sled (with no snow) bc i thought it would be fun.  the only "fun" thing was sitting on a pillow for six weeks.  i also thought i had super monkey powers and could jump from tree to tree and do flips, the only thing i jumped into was a sling for six weeks with a badly fractured elbow.  or better yet...while riding in the car one day i climbed from the front seat, out the window, to the back seat.  clearly that was successful.  maybe i do have monkey-like powers?  aaaaaand cant forget rolling down the driveway in a trash can with the lid...ON (not my brightest moment) or playing chicken with the garage door as it went up and down.  what about the time we played dodgeball with roman candles? ouchie.  ahhhhh...jet skiis.  wow.  they are fast.  went so fast on the lake one summer, i threw myself off so hard, that my life jacket came off.  i was about 3 feet from hitting a rock.

oh...im not done yet.  well.  writers block.  and watching dexter.  maybe i should say "focus'ers block?"

my most recent episode, 7 days ago, virginia beach.  now boogie boarding, safe, right?  EH?  well.....not with me.  i cant just boogie board like a normal person.  despite the UBER rough waves (weird for VA beach), i decided to exhibit my super human powers.  i caught a BIG wave and road it like a rockstar...until...i decided to stand up and ride.  EPIC FAIL.  the front of the board went under, i flipped over and the end of the board nailed my ribs.  CRAP! that hurt like a mother.  i layed on the beach for maybe 30 seconds-couldnt breathe.  weirdest feeling ever.  pain, but not painful.  disoriented.  confused.  did i injure my BIG noggin'?  naw...dont think so.  long story short.  broken ribs/cracked ribs...whatever it is = NOT COOL!  EHT (estimated healing time...) = too long.

maybe im not physically like superwoman?  i may lean more toward the "powerpuff girl-type hero" short in height. firey. and ready to kick someone's ass.  and yeah, she has green eyes and black hair like me. BOOM!

SO while briefly recapping on my physical stupidity above...id like to go ahead and say that mentally...i am a super hero.  this is where i exhibit my best abilities.  im a strong person.  its weird bc im not, but i am.  i can take on a lot of emotions and stresses that most people cant or wont (with occasional backlash).  maybe one day...ill share my mental super human powers.  until then...you can read and laugh at my EPIC FAILURES.  because lets be real...its funny!